December 9th,2013

Christmas and Golf gifts.........

~~For weeks, I prepared for my academy’s golf trip to Malaga, Spain with the members of my golf club. We will have one practice day with four days of ” tournament golf” starting January 21st,2014; “The Marbella Swing Cup”, I will see the performance of my members.....and myself of course.Now let’s move to Christmas;
I am practicing looks of surprise and enjoyment in the mirror while shaving; I recite that catch-all phrase, “Hit it high, and hit it low,” trying to keep the excitement in my voice... and the irony out.
What I am referring to? That most exquisite form of torture... receiving golf related Christmas gifts I will never use.
For the rest of the male population, it can range from a tie, shirt, and pyjamas to a couple of pairs of sensible socks. But there is a special place in “holiday present hell” just for us GOLFERS.

From the dear parents, in-laws and close friends who are making that once-in-a-lifetime visit, they love to give us what they think we want.
I am also sure that these well intentioned gift givers and prime example my wife who try to buy us items that will stand the test of time as opposed to be knocked OB the first time struck.
And each year I eye the wrapped boxes with visions of cabretta gloves dancing in my head... all the time knowing that in reality will likely be something quite different.

As I unwrap, there are two mental piles...gifts that will go in my golf bag and gifts that are headed for the “Golf Drawer”. I would feel too guilty about throwing them out in case the giver ever found out or because they are so bizarre that they are too amusing to discard. I have  personal favorites that still reside in the “Golf Drawer”.Here are some of my favorites’;

The Unusable Golf Towel
Courtesy of my mother-in-law and the clear-out tables at Carrefour, I am the proud owner of a golf towel. In large text, it proclaims the user as the “King of the Swing!”
I can just imagine the abuse that would be deservedly heaped upon me if any of my golf members ever saw it.
Made of a material that seems designed to repel water as opposed to absorb it, it also has the requisite flimsy metal attachment clip guaranteed to break the first time used.

The Golf Watch
My wife bought me a beautiful watch designed to attach to my golf bag.
Brushed stainless steel and very stylish, I am deathly afraid of either scratching it or, god forbid, losing it.
Therefore, it resides in safety of the “Golf Drawer”. Plus, I have this sneaking suspicion that she was gently trying to remind me of how much time I spend on the golf course.

This is not to say that I have not received some unusual golf gifts over the years that have gone straight into the golf bag.
One is a small bound book where I enter records of rounds played on different golf courses and countries...the course names, the scores and the names of the playing partners. It's a nice memento.

Otherwise, it seems that I have made it clear that the safest gift choices are GOLF BALLS, the more EXPENSIVE the better.
In truthfulness, I now only see one or two gifts a year that are headed for the “Golf Drawer” but that still does not release me from my annual stint of “Method Acting”. Christmas is a season of giving and sharing with our families and friends, at Christmas all roads lead home. I wish my members and my students from all around the World,keep golfing and see you in 2014 season;
Merry Christmas and God Bless You.

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